A Marriage Thrives With Constant Growth
Read more articles on Love.July 9, 2006
Posted by Rebecca Lanham
July 9, 2006
Posted by Rebecca Lanham
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So, you are planning to “take the plunge”. You have set the date and are making plans. Getting the marriage underway seems like the ultimate goal to achieve. Once you are married, though, you will find that more work is necessary to survive.
Or, maybe you are already married. You have begun your life with your spouse. Even those that have been married for over 10 years will agree, a marriage will only thrive with constant growth.
You are now part of a pair, not just yourself with this other person along for the ride. Your partner’s needs and wants will now be something to consider, something you may be required to help fulfill. It might even mean doing things you don’t particularly want to do.
The first and foremost item to remember is your partner is now your ultimate family member. What you grew up with and what you “know” may not fit into the workings of this new family you have started. This does not mean a complete break with your parents, your siblings, or other extended family members. It does mean a blending of styles to best fit the needs of you and your partner. How you grew up is much different from that of your spouse. You need to really focus on how you and your significant other wish to run your home. You must separate that plan from how you lived in your parents house. Believe it or not, you are not “Your Mother” or “Your Father”.
The second thing to remember is that life will inevitable throw some hard times in with the easy ones. Keep communication open at all times, trust in your partner and your abilities as a pair to get through any crisis, and try as hard as you can to just go with the flow. Becoming overly stressed, frustrated and angry will not help you with the hard times! Talking through the problem, figuring out solutions and working toward goals will.
The third thing to remember is that you should always keep love and intimacy alive in your marriage. Make time for pleasant moments of snuggling, plan to go out to a romantic dinner occasionally, and always keep your passionate sexual relationship going. The only word of warning with this: the beginning of any relationship will be “red hot”. Be prepared for a bit of a cool down when the family grows to more than just you two.
Along those lines, the fourth thing to remember is that any marriage will change drastically once a child is part of the picture. There will be stress, lack of sleep, and fear of the unknown from both of you. This is another point where clear communication and understanding will be critical. Give as much to your children as you can, but also keep that bond of togetherness with your mate.
I know…that seems like a lot to remember! And it is! However, to keep your marriage strong, to remain supportive, and to stay happy you need to remember all that and more, as constantly growing and learning and loving will always be part of a thriving marriage!
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