The Last Day Of July
Read more articles on The Rambling of a SAHM.August 1, 2006
Posted by Rebecca Lanham
August 1, 2006
Posted by Rebecca Lanham
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Yep, I do realize it is actually the first day of August now. As always, I’m a little late.
Today was my husband’s birthday! “Hi, honey!” if you ever find this site and read this blog entry. 
I missed you a great deal today and wished more than anything that I was flying home now instead of two days from now.
I have decided that coming back to what you knew before you went out on your own is not possible. I have a very hard time staying in the home where I grew up. I have my own ways now and they are far from my parents’ ways. What I cannot stand the most is not having any transportation, so I cannot take myself and my kids out of the situation for even an afternoon. Two weeks is just too long, so from now on a week maximum will be spent in my old hometown.
I guess what hurts the most is the general lack of excitement by any of my family members that I’m home. My sister came up for a long weekend, which I guess is okay. But considering she takes weeks off at a time to go other places…is a couple more days so much to ask?
My brother did not take any additional days off. He works for a Pilot as an assistant manager, so I guess it is possible that he couldn’t. And he did get off on the day we went to the zoo. However, on his days off he didn’t even arrive here until late afternoon…and on one day off I heard he went to a comic book convention in the morning. Is a comic book more important than your sibling?
My other brother lives here. However, his health is failing quickly and I really haven’t seen much of him in the 2+ weeks I’ve been here. My children are just too much for him, but they are permanently a part of my life. So, there is a conflict there that I don’t think will ever be overcome.
My extended family…well, I haven’t seen many of them. My one uncle has come out a couple times, as has my one aunt. Another aunt won’t leave her house due to her health, so I traveled to her one day. My one cousin came to the house once, I went to her place once and we went to the Playplace together once. One other uncle and cousin came tonight for a quick hello. I have numerous other cousins, a couple more aunts and uncles, and a whole lot of friends - none of whom managed to make it here for even a 15 minute visit. Goes to show this may not be “Home Sweet Home” anymore.
So, I guess I can say the last day of July 2006 was the last day of this place being “home”. My home is where I live and breathe more easily, with my husband and children I love more than anyone else in the whole world. They love me for all my faults…and I love them back with all my heart. I just feel bad that it has taken me so long to realize this.
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