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How to File for Custody

Read more articles on Divorce and Custody.

August 6, 2006

Posted by Kim

About This Editor: Kim is both a freelance writer and an imaging specialist at a major graduate school. She is a wife and mother to two children. She enjoys writing and working on her computer in her spare time.

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Divorce is a very difficult thing to go through for any person. When children are added to the equation, things get so much more complicated. Not only are two people parting ways, but they must find a way to be parents to their children together even when they are not together anymore. Custody of the children can either be handled in conjunction with the divorce or separately from it.

The first step in child custody is to file for it. Finding an attorney that specializes in family law and who also has dealt with custody cases in the past is an absolute must. Do not try to go about a custody case by yourself because there are things that can easily be missed and then it will be too late. You can still do some research on your own as well. Filing for custody would involve a trip down to the courthouse to fill out the proper paperwork.

When filling out the papers, you will probably need quite a bit of information so be sure to take it all with you. You will need the names and addresses of all parties involved in the case. You may also need to know the address of where the other party works and social security numbers. Having all this information ahead of time will save you time in the end. If you have an attorney, going down to file the papers on your own will be much cheaper for you as well.

Asking questions is also an important part of the process. If any part of the paperwork is confusing for you, ask someone who works there to clarify it for you. It is best to be sure that the paperwork is filled out properly rather than waiting until later to find out that a mistake was made. Also, make sure to find out how the other party receives a copy of the papers. You may need to deliver it yourself or pay for the papers to be served to the other party. Also, be sure to make note of the court date that you have been assigned. Not showing up for court can hurt your case.

While filling out the papers, be sure to note on them exactly what you are expecting to get out of the case and why you would like it to be that way. Courts do not look kindly on parents trying to keep the child from the other parent solely because they do not want the other parent around. If there are specific reasons why you think the other party should not have any custody, be sure to state them and be ready to prove these things in court. No court wants to put the child in danger, but unless there is something about the other party that is dangerous to the child, the courts will at least issue visitation to the other party. Requesting supervised visitation is a little easier to achieve than requesting sole custody of the child.

You must also remember that there are two parts to a custody case. Most people only consider where the child resides as custody. In reality, custody has two parts: Placement and Legal Custody. Placement refers to where the child lives and when. One parent is usually issued primary placement, meaning the child lives with this parent most of the time and the other parent gets periods of visitation. The most common thing is for one parent to have primary placement and the other parent gets every other weekend and one night a week. This can vary, though. Legal custody refers to the decision making rights. Legal custody is almost always shared. Both parties must usually make the decisions regarding the child together such as schooling, day care, medical, and other such decisions.

Once you have your court hearing, a judge will hear both sides of the story and take into account what each of you has asked for in regards to custody. If the two of you can come to a rational agreement, this process goes so much more quickly and smoothly. If a decision is not reached between the two, then the judge will sometimes require that the two of you and the child attend mediation. In mediation, a 3rd party sits down with each of you individually and speaks with you and gathers information. Then the 3rd party will sit down and make a recommendation to the judge based on what they have learned. This will aid the judge in making a decision. Custody is then permanent unless one of the two parties files a change of order.

Filing for custody should be used to protect the best interest of the child. Children need stability in their lives and knowing where they are living and when helps achieve that stability. Custody should not be used as a weapon to hurt the other party, but to parent alongside the other party instead.