Should We Deal With All Children In The Same Way?
Read more articles on Toddlers/Preschoolers and Let Me Share With You.September 15, 2006
Posted by Karen Amato Schwartz
September 15, 2006
Posted by Karen Amato Schwartz
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Adults are pretty much divided between those who are frenzied and those who are calm. These traits seem to be inherent, which means that, when young, some children are frenzied while some are calm. This comes to no surprise to those around preschoolers, but today found me wondering if there can really be one “best” way to deal with small fry.
For the last few years, I’ve been in a teaching environment that was reminiscent of most homes: nurturing, supportive, somewhat structured, and fairly responsive (in other words, inappropriate activity gets addressed immediately, in usually a firm tone). This year has brought some changes. There is a lot less structure, with a “kinder, gentler approach”, and frankly, it’s hard for me to adapt.
Perhaps I’m still in summer mode, but being around unstructured 4 year olds for 3 hours every day can range from annoying to torturous, depending on how much sleep I’ve had! I really wonder if giving them more freedom is the most beneficial, although I’m told that this is now the thing to do. I have no doubt that children will learn no matter how formal the environment, but I just don’t have faith that children can be trusted to make the right choices. For example, this semester we are allowing the kids to choose between activity centers for unlimited time instead of having them follow a more formal, timed, rotation system. Now, sooner or later they will learn all of the skills, but given human nature, we tend to do those things we are already good at, more than the things we have trouble with. Does allowing youngsters to have the choice to “opt out” set them up for a lifetime pattern of avoidance? Does this approach work better for the frenzied types or the calm types? (I would assume the calm ones will methodically move between activities while the frenzied types run, but to places they prefer to be instead of where they need the most help!)
Then there’s the issue of addressing behavior. I have to admit, as a type A personality, calmness is not my strong suit. But I believe that some things need intense attention, while others don’t. If a child is accidentally but carelessly spilling paint, my approach is quite different than if that same child is purposely destroying another’s work. In today’s view, each incident is to be handled in a serene, quiet, unthreatening manner while still letting the child know what the limitations are. It sounds good on paper, but in reality, how well does it work? I don’t know if I would have listened as well if my parents hadn’t yelled, and I know that when I speak quietly, my daughter often tunes me out. Then there’s the issue of personality type; we handle situations with Type A adults differently than with more relaxed ones; wouldn’t the same apply to children? (Granted, the pat answer would be to deal with both in a subdued manner, but again, does that really work? Don’t programs such as the Myers- Briggs personality assessment exist to help us ascertain how best to approach different personalities, because the “one size fits all” approach has been shown not to work?)
This is my dilemma of today. I do enjoy my present position, but I think that next year I will quit and do more writing. That won’t require me to psycho-analyze anyone except myself!
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