Grab Bag-Bah Humbug
Read more articles on Let Me Share With You and Holidays.December 11, 2006
Posted by Karen Amato Schwartz
December 11, 2006
Posted by Karen Amato Schwartz
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By now, if you work in any kind of team or group, you’ve probably been asked to participate in an office grab bag/gift exchange for the holidays. It may be an awkward situation. Heaven forbid you appear Scrooge-like and say no, especially if, as in most places, you really don’t have much of a choice. And, after all, just how much work is it to add one more item onto your gift list? But how many of you secretly feel uncomfortable about having to buy a gift for another adult with whom you have no personal connection whatsoever, except for working in the same group?
It’s not that I dislike my co-workers; in fact, 95% of the time, I’ve liked almost everyone. Yet, they’re work associates. The way I see it, it’s my close pals I want to shop for because I truly want to give them something that I know would bring them delight. I do not wish to meander aimlessly around in the middle of the busiest shopping season, wondering what to get a person I barely know something worth “a minimum of $15 and a maximum of $20”.
Where I used to work we had large teams where people wrote exactly what they wanted on the paper with their name. This did make it more helpful, but how does the knowledge that one will be getting those leather gloves they’ve been too lazy to get enhance the spirit of the season? (Not to mention there would be at least 4 more trips to the mall before Christmas where they can pick them out themselves.) One year I actually had to buy a gift for someone whose name I didn’t even recognize! He worked on a different schedule than I and our paths had never once crossed. I bought him booze.
Guess who was the only one who never got excited over this annual tradition? The way I saw it, everyone was an adult who made a very good salary and needed nothing. Just how much could another material thing matter? Especially when it came from someone you never saw outside of work and who would never considered you a friend? It put the emphasis on the thing instead of the kindness, and there in is where I had a problem.
Of course, it’s an entirely different matter when families do a grab bag, but the issue here is when employees feel forced to buy a specific thing of a specific price for each other, in the name of Christmas. Outside of a few moments of “oohing” and “aahing” as everyone checks out what everyone else got, it doesn’t promote team building. That has to come from a selfless desire to co-operate better with someone, not from getting a box of gourmet teas from them because they drew your name out of a box.
This year, we were asked if we wanted to do a gift exchange. There were a few apathetic “don’t care’s” and my “no”. The “no” won. It was nice to have a say in the matter. So now we are having a nice lunch (instead of the usual evening-long dinner and drinks) and forgoing the gifts. I think that everyone is relieved about it.
No one needs any more cologne or goodies, but we could use a bit more time to ourselves and time to have pleasant conversations with each other. We will have that by not having to make special trips to pick up particular gift cards or knick-knacks that are unnecessary, and by having an afternoon open for socializing with each other. And I’m sure we’ll all still get plenty of cologne and goodies down the road.
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