Mick Jagger was Right
Read more articles on Love and Let Me Share With You.December 28, 2006
Posted by Karen Amato Schwartz
December 28, 2006
Posted by Karen Amato Schwartz
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Most people have a variety of friends throughout life, all filling different needs. Most friends seem to enter life for a reason, as confidant, social buddy or just someone to bounce ideas off of. Having these casual relationships become life-long friendships is rare unless one is fortunate. In one such friendship, I was not so fortunate. It was a wonderful friendship for a couple of years, but even so, it ended badly. As my blogspace states, “Let me share with you”…
I happened to meet someone at a time when I was starting to think that my decision to change careers had been foolish. She provided not only encouragement, but opportunities for baby steps into my new life. When our professional dealings ended, I was thrilled that she indicated a desire to continue contact. During the next two years, we did the things that friends did; we went out, had fun, and shared. I took great delight in our camaraderie and was glad that our relationship was evolving. I’d lost my closest friends due to death and relocation, and had more in common with her than with other adult acquaintances or casual pals.
Believing that she had a permanent place in my life, I wanted to become even closer friends. But as Mick said, “You can’t always get what you want.” For, just when
I was beginning to take our friendship more seriously, she was taking it less so. I had to know what was wrong, and as a result of my intensity to achieve openness and honesty and work at improving things, she threw in the towel. She was as overly sensitive to my words as I was to her actions.
None of my repeated attempts to apologize for causing things to fall out as they did were acknowledged, and every one of my emails and voice mails went unanswered.
It’s been over 2 years now, and still I’m saddened, and still I don’t understand. People would say that she obviously wasn’t worth the caring and concern I was lavishing on her and our friendship, but I must debate that. I know that God sent her into my life for a reason. Perhaps her only role was to be my mentor for a short while, and the extra 2 years were a bonus. Perhaps I needed to believe I had a friend in her, whether it was true or not. Perhaps I did make a fool of myself in putting more value on the friendship than she did, but better to care more than not enough.
I have no animosity towards this woman. It’s not her fault that she didn’t have as strong a desire to be friends as I did. I wish it would have ended better, though. There’s sinfulness about letting any relationship go without closure and accepted apologies. But for what it was worth, I valued it. It made me happy and made me feel a little less alone. She opened my eyes to so much and was there when I needed help. I only wish I could have returned the favor.
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