In Over Your Head
Read more articles on Ballet and Let Me Share With You.March 12, 2007
Posted by Karen Amato Schwartz
March 12, 2007
Posted by Karen Amato Schwartz
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How often do you find yourself “in over your head”? If you’re smart, it’s probably not that often, because we’re taught that one shouldn’t take on more than one is capable of, while still giving 110%. I think the majority of us live by that guideline, or at least the first part of it. However, if we always followed that, how would we ever grow?
This weekend, I found myself a bit out of my comfort zone, and it was as unsettling as it’s always been. Perhaps kids are used to it, but after being a “grown up” for a few decades now, I don’t like not being able to take pride in something, or to feel like I’m hanging on by the skin of my teeth. I wonder why we get like that…
If you are a follower of my column, you are aware that my first love is ballet, and that I still take class at least twice a week at the school of my city’s ballet company. Now, after a stint as a dance major, doing a little performing, and trying different New York studios, I must say that I’ve never had a class that was quite as difficult as the one I had two days ago. I felt like a beginner with two left feet, and the idea of hanging up the towel was actually appealing. Every piece of choreography had asymmetrical directional changes, rapid jumps involving beats of the feet onto balances, and fairly unusual connections.
It wasn’t pretty.
It had been a long time since I had that feeling, and it brought home just how sensitive our psyches are. We don’t want to feel like failures, and that’s the bottom line behind stagnation and hesitation, and probably a whole host of interpersonal difficulties as well. At moments where we feel that there’s just no way we can make a dent in even getting on top of things-let alone making them look easy or good-it’s very tempting to just not do anything. But we must try, and try over and over or else live with the realization that we gave up. Sometimes it’s a hard choice.
It’s also at those dark moments that I feel empathy towards all of those folks who are in the beginning stages of attempting a new physical endeavor, and know they look relatively bad in comparison to the ideal. It’s amazing that any adult continues through that awful period, but-referring back to my teaching days-a good teacher makes the world of difference. However, at this stage of my ballet study, teachers aren’t concerned about anyone’s comfort zone. So, in one way, I guess I’ve made it to a higher level, but in another, it’s like I’m at rock bottom again. Oh well, another day, another hurdle…if the worst crisis I face is being on the wrong foot at the wrong time, I guess life isn’t that bad!
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