Hospital Roommates
Read more articles on Life's Nuances and Let Me Share With You.May 22, 2007
Posted by Karen Amato Schwartz
May 22, 2007
Posted by Karen Amato Schwartz
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Well, here’s a subject you don’t hear everyday-that of the hospital roommate. It’s just something most folks don’t give much thought to, except for the unfortunate occasions when they find themselves laying in one of those adjustable beds with an IV stand next to them.
However, after visiting my dad in the hospital 4 times a week for almost 6 weeks, I’ve given the topic some consideration. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that I think it’s an issue that needs either attention by hospital managment or some universal rules of etiquette.
For the first 3 weeks, my father was in a private room, which came at a time when he probably needed as much sleep as possible. Thank God he had the opportunity to do so. For the last 3 weeks, however, he’s been a “transitional care” unit which has taken previously single rooms and made them into double occupancy ones. Needless to say, space is tight, and seems even tighter when visitors hear every word being spoken between the roomies’ respective loved ones.
Let me tell you, I’ve been a little stumped as to how to handle this. It seems too rude to walk in and pull the dividing curtain closed. I’m also unsure about including them into conversation if their physical condition seems guarded, even as they lay a foot or two away. In my dad’s case, with only two roommates within 18 days, I feel that I know these long term patients’ families well enough to know about their medical conditions, since I can’t help but hear as they are being discussed, but not well enough to converse about it. It’s a very strange familiarity.
Today, the second roommate was in the process of being transferred to another ward, and all the way home, I found myself wondering about what will become of him. His presence had become as much a part of my life as my regular visits to my father. I would recognize his voice anywhere, and I was glad to have been able to help him into a sitting position on one occasion. I heard his son talking about his job interviews, and will be thinking about which opportunity he accepted. His daughter was in the midst of doing some renovations, and I’ll remember her stories about that as well.
What’s odd is that this isn’t just like chatting in a grocery store line to someone you may never set eyes on again; a hospital roommate, especially long term, is someone with whom there has been an amount of intimacy during one of the most stressful times of their life. This makes it all the harder to forget them. Yesterday I wondered how teachers can always say goodbye; I’ve been thinking the same about nurses as well.
I think it’s the same if one is a patient, even if the energy to socialize is not readily apparent. When my mother gave birth to me, hospital stays were almost a week for new mothers. During her admission, she became good friends with her roommate, and they exchanged Christmas cards for almost 40 years. That says something about the power and emotion connected to hospitalizations. Even if we can’t keep in touch throughout our life with the patient in the next bed, there is a special kind of bond between two people who are going through a difficult situation at the same time.
Here’s hoping that if someone does not have many people to visit them while they’re in the hospital, a roommate’s guests include them in, if they would like. I don’t think it would hurt, and may make more of a difference than we’ll ever know!
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